On Being the Type of Person Someone Wants to Refer

I get most of my insurance business through referrals, and I’m incredibly grateful every time someone trusts me enough to send a friend, family member, colleague, or client my way. Over the years, I’ve learned referrals don’t just happen.

I’ve worked very hard to develop the relationships that allow me to say that referrals are the foundation of my business. It’s not a quick fix or a short-term business development strategy. It takes time, effort, determination and, perhaps most importantly, an honest love of building relationships with other people. (If you don’t feel that love, it can be very uncomfortable!)

If you’re developing relationships because you’re thinking, “What can this person do for me?” people can feel it. For me, the question has always been what can I do for them?

That starts with reciprocating, frequently and with impact, and by reciprocating, I don’t mean sending someone a prospect because they sent one to me. I introduce people to potential clients, of course, but I also introduce them to people who might become valuable referral sources. I connect them with someone who has information they need or can help solve a problem. Sometimes I introduce two people simply because I think they should know each other because they share a hobby.

Not every introduction needs to have an immediate dollar sign attached to it.

I also hold lots of events.

Some are business-focused and give people an opportunity to meet others who might become instrumental in their professional lives. Others are about learning, having fun or supporting a cause, or all three at the same time.

It might be a morning event where we have coffee and spend an hour or two getting to know one another. It could be an event at my home where we learn to make dumplings, or it might be a charity initiative where people come together to do something good while also developing relationships with people they might never have met otherwise.

The format changes, but the underlying idea doesn’t, Bring good people together and good things tend to happen.

I also work hard to keep the people in my referral network top of mind and to stay top of mind with them. I run programs and offer free educational sessions. I’m active on social media, sharing what I’m doing, but I’m also paying attention to what other people are doing. I comment, share, and  celebrate their successes so they become more visible, and I encourage others to learn about what they do.

None of this is a one-and-done activity.

Relationships need attention. You can’t meet someone once, exchange business cards or connect on LinkedIn and expect referrals to start rolling in. You have to show up and be interested, and you have to continue finding ways to provide value, even when there’s absolutely nothing in it for you at that moment*.

We’re all trying to build businesses in the same very crowded world. I believe the more we can help each other, the more we can help our businesses and ultimately, the more we can help our clients.

I’m enormously appreciative of every referral I receive, and I never take them for granted because the goal isn’t simply to get more referrals.

The goal is to become the kind of person people feel genuinely good about referring.

*Adrian Miller has developed a strategy called the 3 I’s and she trains people on how to use it to stay on the grid with clients, referral sources and networking partners. It’s pretty cool, so reach out to her for details.