Raising Strong Girls

I've been told that I post a tremendous volume of “personal” things on social media,and I suppose I do. The truth is, I absolutely cannot draw a strong line of demarcation between my business life and my personal life. They are integrated, intertwined, and very much a part of who I am.

We all get the same 24 hours in a day, and I can't imagine putting either part of my life aside for long stretches of time. I admit I love them both. I love my work, and I love being a mom. And while there are days when juggling everything feels like an Olympic sport, I wouldn't want it any other way.

My girls are my heart and soul. We are very close, spend a lot of time together, and I hope that as they grow older and begin to chart their own paths, they'll look at me and see a strong, independent woman who has worked hard, made choices, learned from mistakes, stayed true to herself, and had some fun along the way! That's what I want for them.

I want to raise girls who are independent and confident. Girls who know they have a voice and aren't afraid to use it. Girls who can make their own decisions, stand up for what they believe in, and understand that they don't have to follow the crowd just because everyone else is going in that direction. I know that's easier said than done.

Sometimes I feel as if the world conspires against us. We tell our daughters to be themselves, and then they head off to school, scroll through social media, or spend time with friends and receive a whole lot of mixed messages about who they should be, how they should look, and what they should want.

Anyone who remembers the later grades of elementary school, middle school, or high school knows how difficult those years can be. Fitting in can feel like the most important thing in the world. Being true to yourself isn't always the easiest or most popular choice, and today's girls are dealing with pressures that seem to follow them everywhere, even when they come home.

I try to make the signals in our house pretty clear. Be kind. Be honest. Be true to yourself. Love your friends and your family. Be generous with your time and your heart. Do the very best you can at whatever you take on and understand that doing your best doesn't mean being perfect.

Know that your path won't always be smooth. There will be disappointments, friendships that change, plans that don't work out, and moments when you question yourself. That's life. But also know that you have strength of your own, and you have the strength of the people who love you standing behind you. You can get through the difficult times, learn from them, and come out stronger.

I also want my girls to know that being strong doesn't mean doing everything alone. Asking for help is not weakness, and neither is being sensitive, showing emotion, or changing your mind when you learn something new. Strength comes in many forms, and kindness and confidence can absolutely go hand in hand.

To me, raising my girls is, without a doubt, one of the most important jobs I will ever have. It's a labor of love, devotion, patience, and yes, sometimes a fair amount of intensity, and I don't believe the time I spend working interferes with doing that job well. Instead I hope it adds something valuable. My girls see me care about my work, take responsibility, build relationships, and keep going even when things aren't easy. I hope those lessons stay with them.

I don't have all the answers, no parent does, but I know I want them to always carry the confidence to be themselves, the courage to make their own choices, and the certainty that they are loved, always.

Christina Shaw = Insurance Agent + Wantagh + Long Island + New York