It's Holiday Time and Not Everyone is Having a Blast

As the holidays approach, it’s easy to get swept up in the sparkle, the decorations, the parties, the gift-giving, and the social media posts filled with smiling families and matching pajamas. I love the holidays, but I also know that for many people, this time of year isn’t all joy and light. It can bring up sadness, loneliness, or even grief. That’s why I believe it’s so important to approach this season with sensitivity and compassion, especially online.

As a single mom in a blended family, our holidays can be a mix of chaos and joy. We’ve had years that were absolutely wonderful and others that were, well, less so. There have been times when I felt completely overwhelmed trying to make everything perfect for my girls with balancing schedules, managing expectations, keeping the peace, and staying cheerful when I was running on fumes.

Years ago I remember a holiday season that felt like an emotional roller coaster. My girls were still very young, and to make matters even harder, we were just coming off the heels of a devastating house fire. Everything, literally everything, had to be rebuilt from the ground up. At that time, the idea of hanging garlands and baking cookies felt almost impossible. I wasn’t bitter, but I was tired, scared, and trying to hold it all together. When I scrolled through endless posts of “perfect” family gatherings and glossy holiday photos, it was tough. Not because I didn’t want others to be happy, but because I was in survival mode.

That’s something I try to remember now, especially during this season when things are, thankfully, pretty darn good. Life has a way of coming full circle but not everyone is in a “circle” moment. Some are in the middle of the storm.

Before you post your next “holiday magic” moment or “look how blessed we are” caption, take a breath. Ask yourself, could someone reading this be struggling right now? Maybe they just lost a loved one, are going through a breakup or divorce, are financially strapped, or are spending the holidays alone. The last thing you’d want is for your joy to unintentionally magnify someone else’s pain.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t celebrate or share your happiness. Joy is contagious, and spreading positivity is a beautiful thing. But balance it with empathy.

Share the joy, but don’t feel like you need to paint a picture of perfection. It’s okay to say, “This season is busy and messy, but we’re finding our moments of joy.” Those words can comfort someone who’s feeling like they’re falling short.

If you know someone who’s having a tough time, send a message, make a call, or invite them over for a casual get-together. Sometimes the smallest gesture like a quick check-in can make a world of difference.

The holidays are a great time to give back. Whether it’s donating to a local charity, volunteering, or buying gifts for a family in need, helping others can make the season brighter for them and for you.

On social media and in conversation, avoid “compare and despair” posts. Instead of “We’re having the best Christmas ever!” try “Feeling grateful for this moment.” It’s a small shift, but it reads with kindness and inclusion.

You don’t have to be the holiday hostess, decorator, or memory-maker of the century. Show up with what you can and that’s enough.

The holidays can hold both joy and heartache at the same time. You can be grateful for what you have and still remember what it felt like to struggle. Both can coexist. I try to carry that awareness into everything I post and share this time of year.

Behind every feed, there’s a story and one that might not be as picture-perfect as it looks. Let’s all try to post, share, and speak with that in mind. A little compassion goes a long way, and it might just be the greatest gift you give this season.